Posted By: Kuba (Kuba) on 'CZling'
Title:     Reforma anglictiny
Date:      Sat May 17 03:17:53 1997

European Union commissioners have announced that agreement
has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language
for European communications, rather than German, which was
the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, 
Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had 
some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased 
plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (EuroE for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly sivil servants will reseive this news with joy.  Also the
hard "c" will be replaced with "k".  Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.  Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.  Also al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful
and they will go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. 
Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultie and evrivun vil find it ezi
tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

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