Posted By: Zaba (I'd rather be skiing!) on 'Humor'
Title:     good marketing job
Date:      Sat Mar 18 14:06:40 2000

> These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award.  This is
>      given out in honor of the GM's fiasco in trying to market this
>      car in Central and South America.  "No va" means, of course,
>      in Spanish, "it doesn't go".
>      1.  The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign
>      "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico.  It
>      was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation
>      read "Are you lactating?"
>      2.  Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where
>      it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."
>      3.  Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the
>      following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an
>      Electrolux."
>      4.  Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into
>      Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure.  Not
>      too many people had use for the "Manure Stick."
>      5.  When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used
>      the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the
>      label.  Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely
>      put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people
>      can't read.
>      6.  Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the
>      name of a notorious porno magazine.
>      7.  An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the
>      Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit.  Instead of "I
>      saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato"
>      (la papa).
>      8.  Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated
>      into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in
>      Chinese.
>      9.  The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela",
>      meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with
>      wax", depending on the dialect.  Coke then researched 40,000
>      characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokou kole",
>      translating into "happiness in the mouth."
>      10.  Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to
>      make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it
>      takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."
>      11.  When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its
>      ads were supposed to have read, "It won't leak in your pocket
>      and embarrass you."
>      The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate)
>      meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your
>      pocket and make you pregnant!"
>      12.  When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new
>      leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated
>      its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked"
>      (vuela en cuero) in Spanish!

>The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents
>  >to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kid
>  >came back and one by one began to tell their stories Kathy said, "My
>  >father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.One time we were
>  >taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front
>  >seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went
>  >flying and broke and made a mess"
>  >
>  >"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
>  >
>  >"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
>  >
>  >"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy? "Our family are farmers too.
    But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one
    but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to
    story is, don't count chickens until they're hatched."
>  >
>  >"That was a fine story Lucy. Little Johnny do you have a story to
>  >share?"
>  >
>  >"Yes,ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob
    was a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail out
    enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine
    and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn'
    and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He
    seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets,
    he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then
    he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
>  >
>  >"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did
>  >your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
>  >
>  >"Don't mess with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."

> One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please
come over and
> help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure
out how to
> start it."
> >> >
> Her friend asks, "What is it a puzzle of?"
> >> >
> The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
The blonde's
> friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads
over to her
> place.
> >> >
> She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the
puzzle spread
> all over the table.  He studies the pieces for a moment, then
studies the
> box.
> >> >
> He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do,
I'm not going
> be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the
picture of that
> tiger."
> "Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and
put all
> these
> Frosted Flakes back in the box


P.S.: Put some excitment between your legs - ride a mountain bike!

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