Posted By: Neuromancer (... bright eyes ...) on 'Humor'
Title:     How to use sysadmin's time
Date:      Tue Sep 10 11:22:56 2002

Advice to employees on the proper use of the System Administrator's valuable

(In following examples, we will substitute the name "Ted" as the System

Never write down error messages. Just click OK, or restart your computer.
Ted likes to guess what the error message was.
When talking about your computer, use terms like "Thingy" and "Big
If you get an EXE file in an email attachment, open it immediately. Ted
likes to make sure the anti-virus software is working properly.
When Ted says he coming right over, log out and go for coffee. It's no
problem for him to remember your password.
When you call Ted to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried
under a year-old pile of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried
flowers, unpaid bills, bowling trophies and Popsicle sticks. Ted doesn't
have a life, and he finds it deeply moving to catch a glimpse of yours.
When Ted sends you an email marked as "Highly Important" or "Action
Required", delete it at once. He's probably just testing some new-fangled
email software.
When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at your home computer, call Ted.
He enjoys fixing telephone problems from remote locations. Especially on
When the printer won't print, re-send the job 20 times in rapid succession.
That should do the trick.
When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all the
printers in the office. One of them is bound to work.
Don't use online help. Online help is for wimps.
Don't read the operator's manual. Manuals are for wussies.
When you get the message saying "Are you sure?", click the "Yes" button as
fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would
When you send that 500-page document to the printer, don't bother to check
if the printer has enough paper. That's Ted's job.
When you receive a 130 MB movie file, send it to everyone as a high-priority
mail attachment. Ted's provided plenty of disk space and processor capacity
on the new mail server for just those kinds of important things.
Don't ever thank Ted. He loves fixing everything AND getting paid for it!
|       ICQ 20529980                               Neuromancer       |
|              Take me far away, where the dragons fly,              |
/------------ leave me to my dreams, or just let me die. ------------

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