Posted By: medved (A~z na v~eky Mikov~ce.) on 'Humor'
Title:     Rozhovor...
Date:      Wed Jan 15 17:19:12 2003


{SnOOkiE}       Frank zAppa? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Excuse me? 
{SnOOkiE}       The song bi frank Zappa 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Which song is that? 
{SnOOkiE}       muffin man song. do u like it? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  I am not sure what you are talking about I'm afraid. 
{SnOOkiE}       where did u get you're name from thwn?? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  I used to run a muffin shop, so I called myself the MuffinMan. 
Who is Frank Zappa? 
{SnOOkiE}       U dint now who he is??? he is 1 of the bestest singeres in 
the world. He made many great songs. 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Is he American? I don't know many American singers. I do know 
Frank Sinatra though. 
{SnOOkiE}       why dont you know American singers??? 
{SnOOkiE}       who is frank sinatera??? 
{SnOOkiE}       are u still there??? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Sorry, I was writing an e-mail. Frank Sinatra was one of the 
greatest American crooners ever. He sold millions of records around the 
world. His most famous songs are My Way and New York, New York. 
{SnOOkiE}       is he a rock singer? What band is he in??? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  He is dead now. 
{SnOOkiE}       Ok. So what band is he in??? Is it a fock band like 
arosmith??? i like arosmith, do u 
{SnOOkiE}       are u still there?? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  He was in a Rock Band called "The *** Americans". You can 
probably find their records in your local record shop. They made many GREAT 
records about Americans. Their best song was called "Why is my IQ so small?" 
Another great song was called, "My spelling is shit." Yes I am still here, 
just a longer sentance to type. 
{SnOOkiE}       i dont think i wood like this band. it is a stupid name fro a 
band. 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Yes it is, but they were writing social commentary, so the 
songs MEANT something!! 
{SnOOkiE}       wot is soceal commentery? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  It doesn't matter. You are right. You probably wouldn't like 
the music. Can I ask you some questions? 
{SnOOkiE}       Ok, like wot? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Are you male or female? 
{SnOOkiE}       femail. and u? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Your name is nice. Where did you get it from? 
{SnOOkiE}       my mom used to call me it when i was young! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Why? 
{SnOOkiE}       because i used to snook around. so she caled me snookie 
[GTF]MuffinMan  I understand. That makes sense How old are you? 
{SnOOkiE}       i'am 17. u 
[GTF]MuffinMan  You are still young Does your mother still call you snookie? 
{SnOOkiE}       IM NOT YOUNG!!! I AM 17!!! SHE DOSNT CALL ME SNOOKIE 
ANYMORE!!!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Sorry. 
{SnOOkiE}       why are you sorry? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Because I said you are young. Because I am older I said you 
are young. To me you are still young but I know you are an adult. Where do 
you live? 
{SnOOkiE}       Ok. i live OK 
[GTF]MuffinMan  What? What is OK? 
{SnOOkiE}       Ok. oklahama. Dint you know that? r you an ***!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Please don't call me an ***. Not I am not. I just didn't know 
that OK was the abbreviation for Oklahama. Which city do you live in? 
{SnOOkiE] tulsa. it is boring!!!!! where do u live? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  The Czech Republic. 
{SnOOkiE}       i dont know that. what state is it in??? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  It's not in any state, it is a country in Europe. 
{SnOOkiE}       like london?? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Something like that. But it is not close to the country of 
London. 
{SnOOkiE}       where is it then? 
[GTF]Muffin Man It's between Russia and Germany. 
{SnOOkiE}       mi uncle told me aboot russia. he was fiting against them 
once time. he said there are commies or something. 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Your Uncle was fighting against Russia? Wow! He must be very 
brave. Which war was this in? WWII? 
{SnOOkiE}       against the vietnam war against the russians. he siad we lost 
because our politicens werre all hamos and they dint help people like him to 
kill the gooks. 
[GTF]MuffinMan  I didn't know that Russia was in the Vietnam war. You must 
really know your history! Wow! 
{SnOOkiE}       yes it was. and vietnam peple as well. hsitory s 1 of my 
favoirite subjects. why didnt u know? u are russina. 
{SnOOkiE}       are u still tjhere??? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  I am not Russian, I am Czech. But we are close to Russia. I 
knew that the Russians were helping the Vietnamese with money and weapons, 
but I didn't know that they were fighting there. I am very impressed with 
your knowledge. 
{SnOOkiE}       thnx!! history is my bestest subject. my teachers sais that i 
will do realy well in my final exams. r u a commie? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Actually, it's communist. Yes I am. 
{SnOOkiE}       mi uncle and my pop says that comminunists are bastads and 
shold be bomed with nuclear barns. 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Then I would be dead. I think that would make me very sad 
because I am a nice person. Do you think I am a nice person? 
{SnOOkiE}       i dont know u very well. but probaby it wood be sad if you 
were dead from a born. killing pople is not nice but commies kill people all 
the time and they are evil. 
[GTF]MuffinMan  It's not true. We are very nice people. Just like Americans. 
Are you really 17 years old? 
{SnOOkiE}       YES!!! I AM!!! how old r u? 
[GTF]Muffin Man I don't know. 
{SnOOkiE}       ?? WHY DONT U KNOW?? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Because in communist countries we don't have birthdays. No 
one knows how old they are. I think I am something like 30 in American age. 
{SnOOkiE}       u dont have birfdays?? that is very sad. i like my b/day. 
tell me please what your real name is. 
[GTF]Muffin Man I have many names, but my name now is Lenin. Next year I must 
change my name again. I don't know what I will change it to yet. 
{SnOOkiE}       ?? why do u change your name?? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  I'm sorry, I can't tell you. It's a secret. 
{SnOOkiE}       does everone change there name in russia??? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  No, only people like me. But it's not too bad. It means that 
I don't get my ex-wives chasing after me because they can't find out what my 
real name is. I like it. 
{SnOOkiE}       hhow many wifes to you have??? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  So far I have been married 7 times. I am going to get married 
again soon, but first I must get rid of Olga, my current wife. 
{SnOOkiE}       why??? do u not like here? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  I like her very much, but in this country when a woman starts 
to get older she gets VERY fat. I don't like fat women. So I will get a new 
one who is not fat. Are you fat? 
{SnOOkiE}       NO I AM NOT""'! I AM NOTT FAT!!!! I AM GOING TO BE A 
MODEL!!!! (GTF]MuffinMan That's nice. I like girls that look like models. 
Maybe you can be my next wife. 
{SnOOkiE}       NO!!! lM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Sorry Snookie, I was joking. Really. I know that you can't be 
my next wife because you wouldn't like it here. 
{SnOOkiE}       Ok. as long as u were jocking! why woudlnt i like it there in 
russia?? tell me about russin! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Ok, but it will be a long sentance. You will have to wait 
while I type it, ok? 
{SnOOkiE}       ok. i will wait. 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Good, because if you like history, you can tell this to your 
teacher at school 
{SnOOkiE}       ok 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Firstly, I don't think that you would like it here because we 
don't have televisions. Many years ago there was a man named Stalin, and he 
became president of Russia and the peoples democracies, countries like mine. 
Anyway, he said that TV was a very bad thing and made it against the law for 
people to watch it or sell them. Ok, please wait because my screen is full 
and I want to type more.... 
{SnOOkiE}       u dont have television? r u jocking? 
{SnOOkiE}       i have heard of stalin. 
{SnOOkiE}       r u still there?? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Anyway, we also don't have cars. This is because the 
Americans won't let us buy petrol from places like Texas. And there are no 
other countries in the world that can make petrol. In many ways this is good, 
because we don't get so fat as we have to walk everywhere. So I think you 
wouldn't like it here. 
{SnOOkiE}       america isnt the only cuntry that makes petrol. my uncle was 
in the war of the gulf which was a war about petrol!!!!!!!! america won thw 
war!!!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  I'm very impressed! You really do know your history. But did 
you know that Kuwait (the country that makes petrol) is now an American 
state? This means that Americans own this petrol and they won't sell it to 
communists. 
{SnOOkiE}       of course i knew!!!!!!! thnks. i like hsitory 
{SnOOkiE}       do u have computers? 
[GTFJMuffinMan No, we don't have computers here, except for the government. 
{SnOOkiE}       if u dont have computores then how r u writing to me?? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  I work for the government. 
{SnOOkiE}       LIEK A SPY? R U A SPY!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Snookie, I can't tell you that. If I tell you and you tell 
someone else then I will be in trouble. 
{SnOOkiE}       i wont tell anyone else. tell me please!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  You have to promise me. If I tell you and someone finds out, 
I will be shot in the head. I have been shot in the head before and I don't 
like it. It hurts! 
{SnOOkiE}       you havent been SHOT IN THE HEAD!!! If U WERE SHot IN THE 
HEAD U WOOD BE DEAD!!!! Dont JOKE me!!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Snookie, I really have been shot in the head. Promise. But it 
missed my brain and how I have a metal plate in my head. 
{SnOOkiE}       COOL! r u a spy? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Yes, I work for the KGB. PLEASE don't tell anybody. 
{SnOOkiE}       I promise. i wont even tell my uncle, he wood probably be 
angry for talking me to an commie anyway. is it cool being a spy? have u 
killed many people? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  It's very nice being a spy. It means that I can eat meat 
sometimes. Most people in communist countries can't eat meat, only bread. 
{SnOOkiE}       cool. did u kill people?? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  I have only killed two people. But it's not nice. I had to 
kill my father because he was giving secrets to the Americans. 
{SnOOkiE}       thats horrible!!!!!!!! i LOVE MY FATHER!!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  Oh my god, someone has come in the room!! 
{SnOOkiE}       who has cum in the room?? 
{SnOOkiE}       r u still there??? 
{SnOOkiE}       hello?? 
{SnOOkiE}       i will go now. bye bye 
[GTF]MuffinMan  WHO IS ZIS?? 
{SnOOkiE}       u r back. where did u go? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  WHO ARE YOU? WHO IS ZIS? 
{SnOOkiE}       who r u?? where is the person from before?? 
[GTF]MuffinMan  HE IS GONE. WE WILL QUESTION HIM. WHAT DID HE TELL YOU? 
{SnOOkiE}       i have to GO!!!!!!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  WHAT DID HE TELL YOU? WHERE ARE YOU FROM? ARE YOU A SPY AS 
WELL? 
{SnOOkiE}       NO!!!!!!! im NOT a SPY!!!! i must go!!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  WE WILL FIND YOU! TELL US! 
{SnOOkiE}       u WONT FIND mE!!! im going 
[GTF]MuffinMan  YOU ARE AMERICAN FROM ZE STATE OF OKLAHOMA. 
{SnOOkiE}       how do u knwo?? NO IM NOT!!!! 
[GTF]MuffinMan  WE HAZ VERY BEST TECHNOLOGY AND NOW I KNOW YOU ARE FROM 
TULSA. WE MUST SPEAK TO YOU! 
{SnOOkiE}       GO AWAY!!!!! I HAve NOT DONE ANYTNG!!!! I AM tURNIGN MT 
COMPUTER OFF!!!!!!!!!!
 

Bye

Medved

No matter where you go, everyone is connected.