Posted By: medved (A~z na v~eky Mikov~ce.) on 'Humor'
Title:     Canada questions
Date:      Wed Apr 13 17:55:19 2005

Now that Vancouver has won the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions 
that people the world over are asking. These questions about Canada were 
REALLY posted on an International Tourism Website. 

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) 
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them 

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) 
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking. 

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad 
tracks? (Sweden) 
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles; take lots of water. 

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) 
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. 

Q: Are there any ATMs in Canada? Can you send me list of them in Toronto, 
Vancouver, Edmonton & Halifax? (UK) 
A: What did your last slave die of? 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) 
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. 
Ca-na-da is that big country to your north. Oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo 
racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. 

Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA) 
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and 
we'll send the rest of the directions. 

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) 
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... 
Oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in 
Calgary, just after the hippo races. Come naked. 

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) 
A: No, we don't stink. 

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell 
me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA) 
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. 

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female 
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) 
A: Yes, gay nightclubs. 

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) 
A: Only at Thanksgiving. 

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? 
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is 

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. 
It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) 
A: It's called a moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of 
anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself 
with human urine before you go out walking. 

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R & R and I want to contact the girl I dated 
while I was staying in Surrey, B.C. Can you help? (USA) 
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. 

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) 
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.



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