Posted By: medved (A~z na v~eky Mikov~ce.) on 'Humor' Title: Helpfull hints Date: Sun Dec 4 23:26:17 2005 Subject: Helpful Hints Helpful Hint #1 If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed. Helpful Hint #2 Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away! Helpful Hint #3 Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on. Helpful Hint #4 Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner. Helpful Hint #5 An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator. Helpful Hint #6 Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink. Helpful Hint #7 High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Helpful Hint #8 A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep. Helpful Hint #9 If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough. Bye Medved No matter where you go, everyone is connected.
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