Posted By: Ray (Vsechno je forma protestu) on 'Humor'
Title:     Hacker of first class
Date:      Mon Jan  5 20:04:39 2009

I'm sorry for the length.. but.. ;-)

In case you don't speak german (just as this hacker), I've tried a little 
translation to english. The bad spelling was there before, but i did not 
consciously try to bring it in there. Notice that in germany we get DST 
earlier than in the US.

The story starts (I'm shortcutting here) with an ******* insulting everyone 
on the IRC channel. Most people there believed it was rather funny, but it 
got even more funny. For information: The dangerous hacker is called 
x1checker (Name has been changed) and the one being hacked and original 
author of the comments, who is talking here, is known as Elch. is 
always the IP-adress of the computer you're currently using, any request 
there will return to your computer.

* x1checker ( Quit (Ping timeout#)
* x1checker ( has joined #stopHipHop
[x1checker] why do you kick me
[x1checker] can't you discus normally
[x1checker] answer!
[Elch] we didn't kick you
[Elch] you had a ping timeout: * x1checker 
( Quit (Ping timeout#)
[x1checker] what ping man
[x1checker] the timing of my pc is right
[x1checker] i even have dst
[x1checker] you banned me
[x1checker] amit it you son of a witch
[HopperHunter|afk] LOL
[HopperHunter|afk] **** you're stupid, DST^^
[x1checker] shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
[x1checker] for two weaks already
[x1checker] when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST 
is applied.
[Elch] You're a real computer expert
[x1checker] shut up i hack you
[Elch] ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
[x1checker] tell me your network number man then you're dead
[Elch] Eh, it's
[Elch] or maybe
[Elch] yes exactly that's it: I'm waiting for you great attack
[x1checker] in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
[Elch] Now I'm frightened
[x1checker] shut up you'll be gone
[x1checker] i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
[x1checker] say goodbye
[Elch] to whom?
[x1checker] to you man
[x1checker] buy buy
[Elch] I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* x1checker ( Quit (Ping timeout#)

What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty 
Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a 
failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a 
good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.

* x1checker ( has joined #stopHipHop
[x1checker] dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
[Metanot] lol
[Elch] x1checker: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP:
[x1checker] you're so stupid man
[x1checker] say buy buy
[Metanot] ah, **** off
[x1checker] buy buy elch
* x1checker ( Quit (Ping timeout#)

There was a tension in the room... Would he manage, after these two failures, 
to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve... Six minutes 
passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who 
usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.

* x1checker ( has joined #stopHipHop
[x1checker] elch you son of a witch
[Metanot] x1checker how old are you?
[Elch] What's up x1checker?
[x1checker] you have a frie wal
[x1checker] fire wall
[Elch] maybe, i don't know
[x1checker] i'm 26
[Metanot] such behaviour with 26?
[Elch] how did you find out that I have a firewall?
[Metanot] tststs this is not very nice missy
[x1checker] because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
[x1checker] be a man turn that **** off
[Elch] cool, didn't know this was possible.
[x1checker] thn my virus destroys your pc man
[Metanot] are you hacking yourselves?
[Elch] yes x1checker is trying to hack me
[Metanot] he x1checker if you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall 
even i can do that
[x1checker] yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
[Metanot] what firewall do you have?
[x1checker] like a girl
[Metanot] firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past girl^^
[He] witch give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you 
and give those little girls new material all the time
[x1checker] turn the firewall off then i send you a virus x1*
[Elch] Noo
[Metanot] he x1checker why turn it off, you should turn it off
[x1checker] you're afraid
[x1checker] i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a 
fire wall
[x1checker] elch turn off your **** wall!
[Metanot] i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of 
hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that's an invitation and that has 
nothing to do with hacking
[x1checker] shut up
[Metanot] lol
[x1checker] my grandma surfs with fire wall
[x1checker] and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into the 
internet without a fire wall

He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that 
elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn't let that 
rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as 
it is. I don't have a firewall at all, only my router.

[Elch] x1checker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you 
can try again
[Metanot] x1hacker can't hack
[Black[TdV]] nice play on words ^^
[x1checker] wort man
[Elch] x1checker: I'm still waiting for your attack!
[Metanot] how often again he is no hacker
[x1checker] man do you want a virus
[x1checker] tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
[Metanot] lol ne let it be i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave 
and i can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
[Elch] it's easy
[x1checker] lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
[x1checker] and are the first files being deleted
[Elch] mom...
[Elch] i'll take a look

In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I 
under-estimated him?

[x1checker] don't need to rescue you can't son of a witch
[Elch] that's bad
[x1checker] elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
[Elch] yes, there's nothing i can do about it
[x1checker] and in 20 seconds f: is gone

Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn't matter, I did 
not have time to think, I was scared. x1checker was comforting me with a 
music tip.

[x1checker] tupac rules
[x1checker] elch you son of a witch your f: is gone and e: too

Drive E: Oh my god... All the games are there! And the vacation 
pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker 
said it was deleted....

Or isn't it happening on my computer?

[x1checker] and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
[He] why doesn't meta say anything
[Elch] he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
[Black[TdV]] ^^
[x1checker] your d: is gone
[He] go on witch

The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! x1checker turned my 
ancient disk sucker into a burner! but how did he do this? I'll have to ask 
him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the 
disaster on my hard drives.

[x1checker] elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
[x1checker] i'm already at c: 30 percent

Should I tell him he's not attacking my computer?

* x1checker ( Quit (Ping timeout#)

Too late... It's 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the 
alias "x1checker". We see that he has a "Ping timeout". We haven't seen him 
since then... must be the Daylight Saving Time.


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