Posted By: Sheri (15 DaysOfNotSmoking YES!!) on 'Humor' Title: British Style humour.. Date: Fri Mar 5 01:22:16 1999 WINDAES 98 It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Newcastle edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Glasgow. If you have one of the Newcastle editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Newcastle edition may be recognised by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDAES 98 with a background picture of a Buckfast bottle superimposed on a Celtic flag. It is shipped with a Buckfast screen saver. Also note: The Recycle Bin is labelled Bog Dialup Networking is called Ma Mates Control Panel is known as How Tae Fuck Aboot Wi The Settins Hard Drive is referred to as Big Disk Floppies are Them Wee Plastic Fuckers. And instead of an error message, you get a windae covered with an empty Buckfast bottle. Other features: OK = its aww-right cancel = fuck off reset = whit yoo aw aboot yes = aye no = nay fuckin' chance find = get it yer fuckin' sel' go to = orr therr help = ah cannae dae it stop = gie's fuckin peace start = fuckin' move settings = settins programs = stuff at does stuff My Documents = ma shit Also note that Windaes 98 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDAES 98: tiperiter = a word processor cullerin book = a graphics program addin mershene = calculator scratch paper = notepad (usually unused) sounds = CD player porn = Microsoft Internet Explorer pikchers = a graphics viewer dole money = M/S accounting software Sellik = a spreadsheet of Celtic F.C.'s recent scores Bevvy = local off-licences by area code and price of Tennent's Super cuzzins = family history (usually 14-year-old mother's name and a shortlist of possible fathers) tax records = usually an empty file Kappa tracksuit inventory (usually 3 meg file) doactir = vetrinarians by post code We regret any inconvenience it may have cause if you received a copy of the Newcastle edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
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